Don't Know What to Say: Communication Struggles in the Filipino Family

Conversations in families that are steeped in custom and tradition can be a source of strain for many. Exchanges between parent and child, for instance, can hold a host of triggers, trauma, and even the demands of culture that ultimately affect relationships and well-being. 

In one of their most candid and personal episodes to date, Stephanie and Leo share stories, probe, and investigate problematic verbal encounters common among Filipino families.

Chapters

• 13:35 parents get easily overwhelmed that’s why they don’t talk
• 16:50 how our emotions flood our bodies
• 18:15 parents fear of making things “worse” when things get talked abou
• 22:20 how “hiya” or saving face affects communication
• 28:00 collectivism and how It affects communication
• 30:10 parents' desperation for help
• 33:05 parents intentions are usually to provide care
• 33:55 parents' “chismis”to others as a way to consult out of helplessness
• 35:45 parents react out of fear and fear looks like anger on the surface
• 38:15 parents are just as human as us
• 42:30 when parents become too reactive, kids can’t make sense of their emotions
• 47:35 when parents become too reactive, kids become intolerant to conflicts
• 51:55 when parents become too reactive, kids tend to second-guess their emotions
• 53:00 arguments are ok! Normalize them.
• 54:55 make emotional space for your kids
• 1:00:00 when parents normalize conflicts, they help kids process emotions and normalize the complexities of life