Kamalayan: Conversations To Self-Awareness
Leo and Stephanie are college friends exploring ideas on self-awareness amid their being Filipino. He, a language and professional development trainer based in the Philippines and she, a marriage and family therapist living the US, exchange thoughts and observations on culture and its impact on their identity. "Kamalayan" — 'consciousness' or 'awakening' in Filipino — hopes to reveal nuggets that help make living a little more interesting and meaningful.
Kamalayan: Conversations To Self-Awareness
Bungangera ka ba o Under da Saya?
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Stephanie and Leo
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Season 1
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Episode 9
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Relationships are indeed tricky. A dynamic many have to contend with is that between the "bungangera" (pursuer) and "under da saya" (withdrawer). During conflicts, some are inclined to persistence, while others tend to withdraw— opposite reactions that can only cause further discord. Stephanie and Leo set out to understand the ins and outs of this phenomenon, share personal encounters, and unearth possible ways to rise above such toxic behavior.
about the "under da saya"/withdrawer
"passive dependence"
about the "bungangera"/pursuer
Leo's experience being the withdrawer
our ego protects us
the bungangera's dichotomous thinking
Stephanie's experience being the bungangera/pursuer
Stephanie talks about being a couples therapist doing Emotionally Focused Therapy
all we want in relationships is a secure attachment
we come into relationships with perceptions of the world and ourselves
approach your relationships with curiosity
open yourself to other possibilities
draw boundaries
the tone matters a lot
the dangers of using "you" statements and how it can kick in the fight/flight/freeze mode